Pete Hegseth Signal Group Chat Leaks Houthi Operation Details??
- Kevin Lankes
- Mar 26
- 5 min read
Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TngDv-LutE
Who among us hasn’t texted secret war plans to the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic, I ask you? Well, throw the first stone, if you’re one of those lucky few. If you’re like the rest of us, covered in buttery males and private servers and star in our own super sick Blackberry memes, well then stick around. Because we’re about to find out how one of the most insane defense department leaks of all time went down on a messaging app notorious for the coordination of far right-wing militia shenanigans.
I’m Kevin Lankes, and I’m your host for the time a TV personality sent a drunk text with his secret war plans. Sshhh! Don’t tell anyone!
At 11:44am on March 15th, former alcoholic Fox News host and current alcoholic Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth texted secret war plans to Jeffrey Goldberg, the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic. Goldberg found himself invited to a group chat several days earlier by Michael Waltz, national security adviser to God Emperor trump. The name of the chat was Houthi PC Small Group.
Now, the Houthis are an Islamic fundamentalist network in Yemen that came from a revivalist movement of a small sect of Shia Muslims. They make up one side of a Saudi Arabia and Iranian proxy war inside of Yemen. Since the Israel-Hamas war, the Houthis have been adding chaos into the mix by attacking ships in the Red Sea and launching missiles into Israel.
In January of last year, the Biden administration conducted a series of operations against them, and similarly in September of last year when they popped up doing aggravating shit again. But it is extremely difficult to simply put a stop to ideological radicals in the Middle East, or you know, here in the United States for that matter. They think things like, they can literally die for what they believe in and it’s all good because an eternal reward is waiting for them.
But our ridiculous new clown king doesn’t care about things like nuance or diplomacy or even reality, so what he said when he clowned his way into town again was that he was going to bust things up in this bitch. And he could not have done it more stupidly. Bigly stupid. He picked the very best people who were yuuuuge and stupid with tears in their eyes. And maybe that’s why Hegseth didn’t see that Waltz had added a brand new member to their super secret red-blooded psychopath club group chat. Or maybe because it was eleven in the morning and that’s like right when he’s leaving the club probably so he’s loaded and just kind of jabbing at the blurry symbols on his phone like a blind seagull trying to find a tasty guppy in an empty toilet bowl. (fun demonstration of that “where are ya?? Where are ya??)
So right after he was added in, Goldberg gets a couple of messages and he slowly realizes that this is the real deal. One of them read: “Team – establishing a principles [sic] group for coordination on Houthis, particularly for over the next 72 hours. My deputy Alex Wong is pulling together a tiger team at deputies/agency Chief of Staff level following up from the meeting in the Sit Room this morning for action items and will be sending that out later this evening.”
Goldberg reports really struggling with this. It took a lot of time for him to accept the possibility that it was actually happening, and he had a lot of heart-to-hearts with colleagues to run through the other plausible scenarios. There are lots of groups out there who want to target journalists now, and discrediting the press by entrapping them in embarrassing situations is a real danger these days.
But then a genuine debate springs up inside the chat, with the account user named JD Vance offering his willingness to “support the consensus” but also that he believes the operation to be a mistake due to public perception and the economic risks.
Hegseth chimes in to ironically state that waiting is a bad idea because the conversation could leak and the team could be seen as indecisive. The next day is when Goldberg became truly alarmed at the enormity of the situation, because it became clear without a shadow of a doubt this was all real when Hegseth sent a message that began with “team update.” And this is when Goldberg refuses to quote exactly what information was given, because he said it involved real details of the bombing operation, the munitions used, and the timeframe. I guess nobody bothered responding to this at all for some reason except for JD Vance who said he’d say a prayer. I’m assuming from his couch. Probably sounding something a bit like Oh, God!
Goldberg then witnesses a couple of congratulatory texts about the operation and after that he exits the group. Then he emais Hegseth and some of the others directly to ask if this really happened or was just some kind of fever dream. Brian Hughes, spokesman for the National Security Council, responded to Goldberg’s emails, confirming the group was legitimate. He also wrote, quote, “The thread is a demonstration of the deep and thoughtful policy coordination between senior officials.” Right, just so deeply thoughtful, lots of thinking, the kind of really incredible thinking that has senior officials invite a leading journalist often critical of the administration to a group chat on an unsecured channel monitored by America’s enemies to plan a bombing operation in the Middle East.
When asked in a white house press conference, trump didn’t seem to know anything about it, and claimed as much. So, the possibilities are, they either did this without his knowledge, or he’s lying, or he forgot. Either way, it looks very bad for him. His only mechanism for protecting his enormous narcissistic ego is denial, he just denies knowledge of anything he thinks makes him look bad, which, ya know, definitely makes him look bad, especially in cases where he’s supposed to be the one in charge, like major military operations.
Some theories suggest that this may have happened because the individuals didn't want to have their conversation logged into official record, so they used signal, which is, by the way, not legal to do. This entire thing dwarfs any alleged scandal by Hillary Clinton using a private server by several orders of magnitude. But others have pointed out that these guys are just a bunch of jackholes, and they quite possibly just don't have any idea how they're supposed to communicate at all, because they have zero experience doing any of this. It's like that common expression -- never attribute to maliciousness what could be explained by incompetence. And that’s what we’re going to do here. We’re going to assume the administration is filled with morons, because that’s what we’ve been shown up until now, so there’s no reason to doubt it.
Please make sure to like and subscribe if you want to share some war plans with me on signal, or if you just want to see the next video. I’ll see you in the next. Until then, let’s do some f*cking good together wherever we personally can in the world.
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