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The Resume' -- A Turd Breakfast

A resume' is pure turd breakfast; it’s a series of buzzwords and meaningless expressions.

Phony feng-shui arguments abound about the use of white space.

You must use the exact same words as everyone else,

but somehow be just different enough.

Unique and distinctive is key, but

irregular or unconventional is a death sentence.

And for God’s sake, don’t be too wordy.

Use some words that are made out of something else -- not fluff, but fiber.

Use words that if swallowed will make an HR manager shit for a solid hour.

Then your resume' will truly be a turd breakfast,

And it can be sold in the breakfast aisle of your local healthfood store,

as overpriced and undernourishing as all the other brands on the shelf.

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